iLiza's eyes

Thanks to the rain, I've recently realized that I have a serious condition which I've fittingly named "Sidewalk Rage." That's right, even when you don't have a car or a bike or a skateboard to angrily maneuver through the city, you can still have rage. This has come to my attention because I recently estimated that I walk about 4 miles a day, mostly from home to school. Well, walking in the recent weather conditions is horrendous in and of itself, and so my rage been building more than usual.

Here are some things that make me want to kick some ass:

1. People who walk slowly down a narrow sidewalk, making it impossible to pass.

2. Couples who walk slowly down the sidewalk next to eachother, so regardless of the width of the sidewalk, you cannot pass.

3. Groups of people who stand on street corners talking, so that you have to weave between them always saying "Excuse me."

4. People who try to send text messages as they walk.

5. People who try to send text messages as they walk WHILE holding an umbrella and not watching where they are going.

6. Tourists.

7. People who walk into buildings and take their time upon entry, forcing the other people to wait outside, in the rain, for them to move.

8. People who stop right in front of the door on their way OUT of the building to gwak at the rain (as if it hasn't been there for the past week), thus causing a traffic jam inside and WORSE, blocking the entrance way for the people who are in the rain, trying to get inside.

9. People who have goloshes...I'm just jealous. You can stop showing off by walking through the huge puddles that I try to jump over and which STILL manage make my feet wet all day.

10. People who don't control their umbrella, so it hits mine as I walk by or bumps my head.

11. People who walk slowly down the sidewalk, but don't walk straight. Instead, they take up the whole sidewalk as they walk, almost moving like a drunk person, making it impossible to pass.

12. Disgusting men who stand on the side of the street and make comments as I walk by. Hello! I'm soaking and I'm wrestling with an umbrella, I'm not hot right now!

13. Men who call out from their car or honk. Okay, as if I"m going to stop on the side of the street and say, "Oh, I've found the man of my dreams!," run after the car and drive into the sunset with you.

14. People who walk faster than me on the sidewalk, especially when I'm running late. It's a competition! How can ANYONE walk faster than me when I'm trucking? I try to beat them to every light and then get the head start by almost getting myself killed as I walk into oncoming traffic.

15. Men who cut you off as they walk. HELLO!! I'm going on my path, walking straight, and you saw me, and now I'm practically stepping on your heels.

16. Workmen who take up the entire sidewalk. One day, there was a truck backed up onto the sidewalk and there was all sorts of furniture making it impossible to pass. I had to walk into the street, risk getting myself killed by the cars, walk around the truck and then make it back to the sidewalk. I mean, seriously.

17. Girls walking down the sidewalk in heels. Okay honey, I know you're in pain. It's not worth it...

18. People who let their dogs take shits in the middle of the sidewalk. That's disgusting, even if they pick it up. It means that I have to watch your dog pooping right in front of me and I have to look in order to avoid stepping on it.

19. People who hold their ears when a firetruck goes by. I'm sorry, firetrucks just aren't loud enough to warrent putting your hands over your ears. Plus, it slows you down, and then I can't get to school on time.


This is an ongoing list...Anyone have anything else they'd like to vent?

posted by iliza @ 4:00 PM